I can imagine that's very true on both accounts--the repletion and the lack of originality.

For the weather: I dunno... I like weather, I think it's a very mood setting thing, but yeaaah... I'll see what I can do about toning it down, it may be hard. But, in the end, it'll be my call I think. :\

As for the originality: Man, oh man, I know it's going to be lacking there, haha. Not only is it hard to be original these days, but this was also something I first concocted when I was 16, and I know it's going to suffer there in many respects. Buuut, it's also very important to me, and I just want to get it down finally. I figure good writing can defeat some of the more generic aspects of a story, or at least soften the blow a bit, but I do think, once this gets into the deep of things, it'll be a fine story with plenty of twists. And ultimately, it’s more of a philosophical message I’m going to try at in all this, so it’s more centralized around people’s reactions to events rather than the extremely awesome events themselves.

Thanks a million man though, and for the honest critiques. I'm already more than a few pages into the second chapter now. And, I hope to get this out semi-regularly. Take care.

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Bryan Mischke

My Artwork & Photography :3

Thank you for being such a good critique receiver, and not going off crying heh'.
The chapter is very good and like you said, its your writing, its your personal call. No one else can change that, but thanks for accepting it.

-James.

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How Will I Ever Get out of This Labyrinth?

Hahaha... I wouldn't do that. I appreciate any advice or opinions I can get, becuase God knows I'm not right a lot of the time, I'm always looking for a better way of doing things. But, yanno, all I ever ask is that people respect my choices, because I put a lot of thought into them.

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Bryan Mischke

My Artwork & Photography :3